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Before beginning a description of DBT, let's start with a description of Dialectics...

Dialectics is about the effort and struggle to create truth out of opposite ideas. The word itself is defined as "a method of argument that weighs contradictory facts or ideas with a view to the resolution of their real or apparent contradictions."

People involved in long-term relationships see dialectics all the time. He says they ought to spend their money for retirement, and she says they ought to spend their money building a cabin in the woods. Or one partner says the other is a slob because he or she leaves clothes on the floor, and the other complains that his or her partner is too uptight worrying about where the clothes end up.

Couples get into dialectics all the time. The just don't use the word 'dialectics'. When it happens they call it a fight, or spat, or lover's quarrel.

The main ingredient in a dialectic between two people is that each holds on to the belief that; "I'm right and you're wrong."

Each pulls to have his or her point of view accepted by the other. Often people think, "How can he be so stupid not to see the logic in my position," or "How can she be so unreasonable," or "What a jerk!"

Dialectics often occur just inside ourselves. Have you ever noticed a time when you thought, "I could do this, but on the other hand I could do that," and you just don't know what to do? Or said to yourself, "I shouldn't feel this way (angry, sad, joyous, etc)," even though that is indeed how you felt?